Just who am I, anyway?
- davidwperk
- Jan 9, 2024
- 5 min read
Devotional Reflection, Tuesday, January 9, 2024
The week of the first Sunday after the Epiphany
The Rev. David W. Perkins, Th.D.
Key phrases for reflection from today’s reading
19 This is the testimony given by John when the Jews sent priests and Levites from Jerusalem to ask him, ‘Who are you?’ 20He confessed and did not deny it, but confessed, ‘I am not the Messiah.’ . . . . 22Then they said to him, ‘Who are you? Let us have an answer for those who sent us. What do you say about yourself?’
You will find the full text of today’s Gospel at the end of this reflection.
Daily Office Lectionary Readings (BCP, 943)
AM Psalm 5, 6; PM Psalm 10, 11
Gen. 3:1-24; Heb. 2:1-10; John 1:19-28
Today we celebrate the Feast of Julia Chester Emery. (See below.)
David’s Reflections
Dietrich Bonhöffer, German theologian martyred by the Nazis in April 1945, wrote a poem from prison entitled “Who am I?”. The closing lines are:
Who am I? They mock me, these lonely questions of mine.
Whoever I am, thou knowest, O God, I am thine.*
“Who are you?” John the baptizer faced this question. His adversaries queried him about a number of options, all of which he rejected for himself. He was most emphatic in today’s reading that he was not the Messiah. His repeated “no’s” left them shaking their heads. He did not fit into any of their neat categories. Furthermore, when he answered them, they continued shaking their heads. If he was not God’s anointed end-time savior, then why was he baptizing people and preaching as he did?
Which question is more basic, “Who are you?” or “Who am I?” It would seem impossible to answer that first question with any authority if I have spent little time seeking an answer to the second one, “Who am I?”. I could answer that latter question in terms of roles—father, priest, teacher. Or, I could answer in terms of nationality and race—Caucasian American. Or, I could answer in terms of region and gender—southern male. Or, I could answer in terms of faith—Christian and Episcopalian. Or, I could answer in terms of personality type—extrovert. What is my enneagram number? I could answer in terms of an image like “intentional pilgrim” or “thread follower.” Then, I’d have to explain why I see myself in those ways.
Are we aware of an identity apart from any of our roles and relationships? If we take time to look and listen, an internal self portrait in some sort of semi-finished state does present itself. The oil may still be moist on some sections of the canvas; other segments have dried; others remain to be painted. Some might require a touch up. That’s where my self-definitions come in, “intentional pilgrim” and “thread follower.”
“Who are you?” If we ask someone that question, they could give us a variety of answers. “Who am I?” If we ask ourselves that question, we might find it a challenge to answer for ourselves. But, with Bonhöffer we can say, “whoever I am, thou knowest, O God, I am thine.” You and I do belong to God. God finds a home in us and God keeps daubing paint on the canvasses of our identity portraits. In some instances, those master brush strokes have repaired marred sections of the image, and in others, have altered what had been hastily or clumsily done. In this Epiphany season, we can pray that God will grant us a more honest self understanding, that the light of Christ will shine upon who we are and make us known more honestly to ourselves, and that the master artist will make more of a work of art out of our splotched self portraits.
Whoever we are we are God’s. Some may find you and me puzzling. Others may tamper with and seek to alter who we are. Others may find our personal self-definition unacceptable and feel forced to editorialize. Our calling is to live with integrity and be whom God is making us and to be God’s each day.
*Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Letters and Papers from Prison trans. Frank Clark, Reginald Fuller, John Bowden, et al., ed. Eberhard Berthge (New York: Macmillan, 1972), p. 347.
Collect of the Day, First Sunday after the Epiphany: The Baptism of our Lord
Father in heaven, who at the baptism of Jesus in the River Jordan proclaimed him your beloved Son and anointed him with the Holy Spirit: Grant that all who are baptized into his Name may keep the covenant they have made, and boldly confess him as Lord and Savior; who with you and the Holy Spirit lives and reigns, one God, in glory everlasting. Amen. (BCP, 214)
Today we celebrate the Feast of Julia Chester Emery, lay leader and missionary (died 9 Jan 1922 CE).
Collect of the Feast of Julia Chester Emery
God of all creation, who calls us to make disciples of all nations and to proclaim your mercy and love: Grant that we, after the example of your servant Julia Chester Emery, might have vision and courage in proclaiming the Gospel to the ends of the earth; through Jesus Christ, our light and our salvation, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.
A Collect for Peace
O God, the author of peace and lover of concord, to know you is eternal life and to serve you is perfect freedom: Defend us, your humble servants, in all assaults of our enemies; that we, surely trusting in your defense, may not fear the power of any adversaries; through the might of Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. (BCP, 99)
Of the Reign of Christ
Almighty and everlasting God, whose will it is to restore all things in your well-beloved Son, the King of kings and Lord of lords: Mercifully grant that the peoples of the earth, divided and enslaved by sin, may be freed and brought together under his most gracious rule; who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen. (BCP, 254)
A Prayer for Light
Almighty God, we give you thanks for surrounding us, as daylight fades, with the brightness of the vesper light; and we implore you of your great mercy that, as you enfold us with the radiance of this light, so you would shine into our hearts the brightness of your Holy Spirit; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. (BCP, 110)
A Collect for Mission
Almighty and everlasting God, by whose Spirit the whole body of your faithful people is governed and sanctified: Receive our supplications and prayers which we offer before you for all members of your holy Church, that in their vocation and ministry they may truly and devoutly serve you; through our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Amen. (BCP, 100)
Daily Office Gospel, John 1:19-28
19 This is the testimony given by John when the Jews sent priests and Levites from Jerusalem to ask him, ‘Who are you?’ 20He confessed and did not deny it, but confessed, ‘I am not the Messiah.’ 21And they asked him, ‘What then? Are you Elijah?’ He said, ‘I am not.’ ‘Are you the prophet?’ He answered, ‘No.’ 22Then they said to him, ‘Who are you? Let us have an answer for those who sent us. What do you say about yourself?’ 23He said, ‘I am the voice of one crying out in the wilderness, “Make straight the way of the Lord,”’ as the prophet Isaiah said. 24Now they had been sent from the Pharisees. 25They asked him, ‘Why then are you baptizing if you are neither the Messiah, nor Elijah, nor the prophet?’ 26John answered them, ‘I baptize with water. Among you stands one whom you do not know, 27the one who is coming after me; I am not worthy to untie the thong of his sandal.’ 28This took place in Bethany across the Jordan where John was baptizing.
Daily Offices in The Book of Common Prayer
Morning Prayer, Rite 2, page 75, The Book of Common Prayer
Noonday Prayer, page 103, Book of Common Prayer
Order of Worship for Evening (Vespers), p 109, Book of Common Prayer
Evening Prayer, Rite 2, page 115, Book of Common Prayer
Compline (Night Prayer), page 127, Book of Common Prayer
Daily Devotionals, page 136, Book of Common Prayer
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