Regaining Our True Identity

Devotional Reflection, Wednesday, February 07, 2024

The week of the fifth Sunday after the Epiphany

The Rev. David W. Perkins, Th.D.

Key phrases for reflection from today’s reading:

22So Jacob went up to his father Isaac, who felt him and said, ‘The voice is Jacob’s voice, but the hands are the hands of Esau.’ 23He did not recognize him, because his hands were hairy like his brother Esau’s hands; so he blessed him. 24He said, ‘Are you really my son Esau?’ He answered, ‘I am.’

You will find the full text of today’s Old Testament reading at the end of this reflection.

Daily Office Lectionary Readings (BCP, 947)

AM Psalm 119:97-120; PM Psalm 81, 82

Gen. 27:1-29; Rom. 12:1-8; John 8:12-20

David’s Reflections

My late, younger brother, John, and I were very different children.  (John died of pancreatic cancer, December 10, 2020.) I was the bookish, extrovert;  John, the athletic introvert.  I was the boy preacher;  John, the rounder.  My Dad, a millwright, valued John’s aptitudes and inclinations more than mine.  The two of them were more of a “match” for each other. In our adulthood, those dynamics faded into insignificance as our brother-to-brother bond grew and our Dad's acceptance of me deepened. Yet, in our youth, Dad’s and John’s resonance proved a painful challenge for me.

Most families can relate to such dynamics. The unfortunate outcome can be something like what unfolds in today’s Old Testament reading.  Here one child takes on the identity of the other to get from the father what he could not get by being himself.  Jacob dressed himself in Esau’s clothes, with his distinctive odor clinging to them.  And, he covered the backs of his hands with animal skins to emulate Esau’s hairy appearance. Aged Isaac had lost most of his eyesight, but his sense of smell was keen.  Jacob smelled and felt like Esau;  the food prepared imitated the flavor of the wild game Isaac had asked Esau to kill and prepare. In the midst of that deception the helpless old father said, “The hands are the hands of Esau, but the voice is the voice of Jacob.” What a primal story with tentacles worming their way into our lived experience.

What Jacob wanted was the promise of success and the lion’s share of the inheritance, which by right went to the firstborn son.  The only way to get those particular blessings was to take on Esau’s identity.  In league with his mother, with whom Jacob shared that special resonance, he executed the ruse. His father was duped, and Esau lost what went with his unique relationship with his father.  The blessings had finality and power comparable to a signed contract in today’s culture.

The expectations of our parents and other significant people have been shaping us since we were very young.  Some of those expectations may have prompted us to adapt our identity, as Jacob did in this story.  In that adapting, we lost something of our true nature and took on behaviors and expectations untrue to our identity, thus squelching dynamics at work in the core of our being. And, like Isaac, our parents and family members may suffer from poor vision about who we really are.

As we mature, we have the opportunity to peel away those expectations and look at what lies beneath, like removing old carpet to behold the lovely hardwood floor below.  God created Jacob to be Jacob and Esau to be Esau.  How many aspects of our lives—self-image, job, relationships, hobbies, ambitions—actually are Esau’s hands blended with Jacob’s voice? “The voice is the voice of Jacob, but the hands are the hands of Esau.”

What an image!  Oh to have been there to watch Jacob removing the clothing of Esau and the skins from the backs of the hands and becoming Jacob again. I can imagine the shame he felt at deceiving his aging father and pretending to be someone he was not. How challenging and frightening it is to trust God’s creative genius and affirm our own uniqueness when doing so might deprive us of the blessing of those lacking the vision to see us for who we are created to be.  But, how essential to take the risk. Preferable to the shame of hiding our true self and taking on a false identity. "The voice is the voice of Jacob, but the hands are the hands of Esau."

This Billy Collins poem expresses the hunger for such change.

"Conversion"

I would like to spend the day on the slope

of a mountain, listening to a parable

about a lost sheep or a blighted vineyard.

For months my only companion would be this story,

and the more I told it to myself

the clearer everything would become.

Then, I would repeat the story to small groups of men

drawing illustrations in the sand with a stick.

I would leave them murmuring in a circle.

And late at night when the cold wind found

the chinks of my house

and disturbed the candle stub next to my bed,

I would hear the story told by the tongue of flame

and watch the shadows of my former self

flicker on the low ceiling and the walls of stone.+

+Billy Collins, The Art of Drowning  (Pittsburg:  UP Press, 1995), p. 40.

Collect of the Day, Fifth Sunday after the Epiphany

Set us free, O God, from the bondage of our sins, and give us the liberty of that abundant life which you have made known to us in your Son our Savior Jesus Christ; who lives and reigns with you, in the unity of the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen.  (BCP, 216)

A Collect for Grace

Lord God, almighty and everlasting Father, you have brought us in safety to this new day: Preserve us with your mighty power, that we may not fall into sin, nor be overcome by adversity; and in all we do, direct us to the fulfilling of your purpose; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. (BCP, 100)

A Prayer attributed to St. Francis

Lord, make us instruments of your peace. Where there is hatred, let us sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is discord, union; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; where there is sadness, joy. Grant that we may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood as to understand; to be loved as to love. For it is in giving that we receive; it is in pardoning that we are pardoned; and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. Amen.  (BCP, 833)

A Collect for Early Evening

Blessed are you, O Lord, the God of our fathers, creator of the changes of day and night, giving rest to the weary, renewing the strength of those who are spent, bestowing upon us occasions of song in the evening. As you have protected us in the day that is past, so be with us in the coming night; keep us from every sin, every evil, and every fear; for you are our light and salvation, and the strength of our life. To you be glory for endless ages. Amen. (BCP, 113)

A Collect for Mission

Lord Jesus Christ, you stretched out your arms of love on the hard wood of the cross that everyone might come within the reach of your saving embrace: So clothe us in your Spirit that we, reaching forth our hands in love, may bring those who do not know you to the knowledge and love of you; for the honor of your Name. Amen. (BCP, 101)

Daily Office Old Testament Reading, Genesis 27:1-29

27:1When Isaac was old and his eyes were dim so that he could not see, he called his elder son Esau and said to him, ‘My son’; and he answered, ‘Here I am.’ 2He said, ‘See, I am old; I do not know the day of my death. 3Now then, take your weapons, your quiver and your bow, and go out to the field, and hunt game for me. 4Then prepare for me savory food, such as I like, and bring it to me to eat, so that I may bless you before I die.’ 5Now Rebekah was listening when Isaac spoke to his son Esau. So when Esau went to the field to hunt for game and bring it,

6 Rebekah said to her son Jacob, ‘I heard your father say to your brother Esau, 7“Bring me game, and prepare for me savory food to eat, that I may bless you before the LORD before I die.” 8Now therefore, my son, obey my word as I command you. 9Go to the flock, and get me two choice kids, so that I may prepare from them savory food for your father, such as he likes; 10and you shall take it to your father to eat, so that he may bless you before he dies.’ 11But Jacob said to his mother Rebekah, ‘Look, my brother Esau is a hairy man, and I am a man of smooth skin. 12Perhaps my father will feel me, and I shall seem to be mocking him, and bring a curse on myself and not a blessing.’ 13His mother said to him, ‘Let your curse be on me, my son; only obey my word, and go, get them for me.’ 14So he went and got them and brought them to his mother; and his mother prepared savory food, such as his father loved. 15Then Rebekah took the best garments of her elder son Esau, which were with her in the house, and put them on her younger son Jacob; 16and she put the skins of the kids on his hands and on the smooth part of his neck. 17Then she handed the savory food, and the bread that she had prepared, to her son Jacob.

18 So he went in to his father, and said, ‘My father’; and he said, ‘Here I am; who are you, my son?’ 19Jacob said to his father, ‘I am Esau your firstborn. I have done as you told me; now sit up and eat of my game, so that you may bless me.’ 20But Isaac said to his son, ‘How is it that you have found it so quickly, my son?’ He answered, ‘Because the LORD your God granted me success.’ 21Then Isaac said to Jacob, ‘Come near, that I may feel you, my son, to know whether you are really my son Esau or not.’ 22So Jacob went up to his father Isaac, who felt him and said, ‘The voice is Jacob’s voice, but the hands are the hands of Esau.’ 23He did not recognize him, because his hands were hairy like his brother Esau’s hands; so he blessed him. 24He said, ‘Are you really my son Esau?’ He answered, ‘I am.’ 25Then he said, ‘Bring it to me, that I may eat of my son’s game and bless you.’ So he brought it to him, and he ate; and he brought him wine, and he drank. 26Then his father Isaac said to him, ‘Come near and kiss me, my son.’ 27So he came near and kissed him; and he smelled the smell of his garments, and blessed him, and said, ‘Ah, the smell of my son is like the smell of a field that the LORD has blessed. 28May God give you of the dew of heaven, and of the fatness of the earth, and plenty of grain and wine. 29Let peoples serve you, and nations bow down to you. Be lord over your brothers, and may your mother’s sons bow down to you. Cursed be everyone who curses you, and blessed be everyone who blesses you!’

Daily Offices in The Book of Common Prayer

Morning Prayer, Rite 2, page 75, The Book of Common Prayer

Noonday Prayer, page 103, Book of Common Prayer

Order of Worship for Evening (Vespers), p 109, Book of Common Prayer

Evening Prayer, Rite 2, page 115, Book of Common Prayer

Compline (Night Prayer), page 127, Book of Common Prayer

Daily Devotionals, page 136, Book of Common Prayer