Wavering With Our Noblest Intentions
- davidwperk
- Sep 1, 2023
- 5 min read
Devotional Reflection, Friday, September 1, 2023
Proper 16, the week of the thirteenth Sunday after Pentecost
The Rev. David W. Perkins, Th.D.
Key phrase for reflection from today’s Gospel reading:
29Peter said to him, ‘Even though all become deserters, I will not.’ 30Jesus said to him, ‘Truly I tell you, this day, this very night, before the cock crows twice, you will deny me three times.’ 31But he said vehemently, ‘Even though I must die with you, I will not deny you.’ And all of them said the same.
You will find the full text of today’s Gospel reading at the end of this reflection.
Daily Office Lectionary Readings (BCP, 980)
AM Psalm 16, 17; PM Psalm 22
1 Kings 5:1-6:1,7; Acts 28:1-16; Mark 14:27-42
Today we celebrate the Feast of David P. Okerhater. (See below.)
David's Reflections
Intent--Peter affirmed his intent to stay with Jesus to the point of death. The others most likely nodded in agreement with that announced intent. Peter may have been expressing a consensus, because he did serve as spokesperson for The Twelve. They did not know, nor could they, in advance the chilling and gripping fear that would dissolve that intent and turn them into fleeing shadows in Jesus' night of despair.
Intent—Jesus’ intent was to do God’s will. In the Garden he squirmed in the face of what that intent would demand of him. He asked to be delivered from the excruciating emotional and physical distress looming just beyond the edge of that night. But, his intent prevailed. "Not what I want, but what you want." Yet, he asked again. And, again. So genuinely committed to God, he wavered like a tree in a gale--a threefold repetition of that request. Yet, the tree stood. "Not what I want, but what you want." God’s loving presence strengthened his intent.
If Jesus could waver, he understands the dilemmas of our existence and the strain of living with the intent to follow God's will no matter what. When we are struggling and wavering about what we sense might be God's will, we draw very close to the experience of Jesus in Gethsemane and he draws close to us. "Not what I want, but what you want." Or, as the King James has it, "Not my will, but yours be done."
Those waverers, Peter and the others, became rocks of witness and obedience, even to the point of death after the resurrection. They denied and abandoned Jesus in that dark and horrifying night, but the Christ whose wavering gave way to holy intent transformed them into the same kind of committed people. That gives us hope of similar transformation. Rather than thinking of ourselves in a self-condemning way as waverers, we can think of ourselves as disciples of Christ with rock potential, intenders Jesus can take from waverer to rock.
This Benedictine prayer from an anonymous saint can be our Garden of Gethesemane prayer, our dark night plea to God.
Calm steadfast love
still deep
within your peace
and keep
our fluctuating hearts:
our inability
anchor
in your stability
your changeless energy
of burning love.*
*Cited by Esther de Waal, Seeking God: The Way of St. Benedict. Foreword by Kathleen Norris. (Collegeville, MN: Liturgical Press, 2001), p. 66
Collect of the Day, Proper 16, the thirteenth Sunday after Pentecost
Grant, O merciful God, that your Church, being gathered together in unity by your Holy Spirit, may show forth your power among all peoples, to the glory of your Name; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen. (BCP, 232-33)
Today we celebrate the Feast of David P. Oakerhater, deacon and missionary (died 31 Aug 1931 CE).
Collect of the Feast of David P Oakerhater
O God of unsearchable wisdom and mercy; Liberate us from bondage to self, and empower us to serve you and our neighbors, that like your servant David Oakerhater, we might bring those who do not know you to the knowledge and love of you; through Jesus Christ, the captain of our salvation; who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God for ever and ever. Amen.
A Collect for Fridays
Lord Jesus Christ, by your death you took away the sting of death: Grant to us your servants so to follow in faith where you have led the way, that we may at length fall asleep peacefully in you and wake up in your likeness; for your tender mercies' sake. Amen. (BCP, 123)
In the Evening
O Lord, support us all the day long, until the shadows lengthen, and the evening comes, and the busy world is hushed, and the fever of life is over, and our work is done. Then in thy mercy, grant us a safe lodging, and a holy rest, and peace at the last. Amen. (BCP, 833)
A Collect for Mission
Merciful God, creator of all the peoples of the earth and lover of souls: Have compassion on all who do not know you as you are revealed in your Son Jesus Christ; let your Gospel be preached with grace and power to those who have not heard it; turn the hearts of those who resist it; and bring home to your fold those who have gone astray; that there may be one flock under one shepherd, Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. (BCP, 280)
Daily Office Gospel, Mark 14;27-42
27And Jesus said to them, ‘You will all become deserters; for it is written,
“I will strike the shepherd,
and the sheep will be scattered.”
28But after I am raised up, I will go before you to Galilee.’ 29Peter said to him, ‘Even though all become deserters, I will not.’ 30Jesus said to him, ‘Truly I tell you, this day, this very night, before the cock crows twice, you will deny me three times.’ 31But he said vehemently, ‘Even though I must die with you, I will not deny you.’ And all of them said the same.
32 They went to a place called Gethsemane; and he said to his disciples, ‘Sit here while I pray.’ 33He took with him Peter and James and John, and began to be distressed and agitated. 34And said to them, ‘I am deeply grieved, even to death; remain here, and keep awake.’ 35And going a little farther, he threw himself on the ground and prayed that, if it were possible, the hour might pass from him. 36He said, ‘Abba, Father, for you all things are possible; remove this cup from me; yet, not what I want, but what you want.’ 37He came and found them sleeping; and he said to Peter, ‘Simon, are you asleep? Could you not keep awake one hour? 38Keep awake and pray that you may not come into the time of trial; the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.’ 39And again he went away and prayed, saying the same words. 40And once more he came and found them sleeping, for their eyes were very heavy; and they did not know what to say to him. 41He came a third time and said to them, ‘Are you still sleeping and taking your rest? Enough! The hour has come; the Son of Man is betrayed into the hands of sinners. 42Get up, let us be going. See, my betrayer is at hand.’
Daily Prayer Offices in The Book of Common Prayer Morning Prayer, Rite 2, page 75, Book of Common Prayer Noonday Prayer, p. 103, Book of Common Prayer Order of Worship for Evening (Vespers), p. 109, Book of Common Prayer Evening Prayer, Rite 2, page 115, Book of Common Prayer Compline (Night Prayer), Page 127, Book of Common Prayer Daily Devotionals, page 136, Book of Common Prayer
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